Gravy Fries and Dirty Lollipops
by Appearances
Summary: A letter is written by Usagi to Mamoru with varying feelings throughout.


Author's Notes: Just in case anyone was wondering about the title, it's the name   
of a song by a band called Feeling Left Out and it's about a letter and this story   
is about a letter. That's all the two have a in common but I thought the name of   
the song was interesting so that's why I named my story after it. That, and I didn't   
know what else to call it…but, yeah. Enjoy!  
  
~Extra little thing: I posted this yesterday but the formatting annoyed me to no   
end so I changed that and that's the only thing that is different, in case you   
were wondering. I already got nice reviews though so I've decided to do a   
sequel for those that want it. It'll be out in a week or so. School work is   
overwhelming me this week so it might be a little later than that but not much!~  
  
  
  
Gravy Fries and Dirty Lollipops  
By Appearances  
  
  
I've decided I hate you.  
  
That's right - I hate you. I can't help it, you know. If I don't hate you, then   
I don't know what I feel towards you. That confuses me. And then I think about   
what _do_ I feel towards you for so long that I start thinking maybe I might…love   
you. And we both know that's crazy! So I must hate you.  
  
Right?  
  
You tease me every day. We are always rude to each other. We've never had  
a single civil word for each other. We can't be in the same room without a   
joke about us starting World War III. I shouldn't even like you! So I don't.  
  
At least, I don't think I do.  
  
You have no clue how many times I've analyzed our relationship. I've   
seen you sitting at the counter in the arcade when you're not teasing me. You   
look so lonely. You stare into your cup of black coffee - it's always black. (Just   
between you and me…I've tried black coffee - you drink it all the time, so   
I was curious - and I don't find it all that great…)You have apprehensions   
about trying new things. I don't know if you know this, but you do everything   
at the same time every day. And I mean everything! You jog by my house   
every morning at quarter till seven. You enter the arcade every afternoon at three   
o'clock on the dot unless it's a weekend and then you are there in the morning.   
You leave eighteen minutes later (six minutes later than that if you and I have a   
particularly long fight). I bet you didn't know those things. You want to know   
why I think that?  
  
It's simple, really: you never notice the small things.  
  
Now, don't take this the wrong way, but…you feel so hurt by whatever   
happened in your past that you wallow in self pity a lot and don't pay much   
attention to anything else, even when it deals with you. Maybe,   
especially when it deals with you.  
  
I'm not saying you're weak or anything - quite the opposite actually.   
Whatever happened to you hurt you deeply and scarred you. For you to be   
able to wake up in the morning every day and continue living…you're so   
strong! But you haven't really gotten over what hurt you. So, I guess   
what I mean by you wallow in self pity is that your past still affects you   
and you don't live life to the fullest.  
  
Now, I'm not suggesting you just ignore your past, you know. It's part   
of who you are (whether you want it to be or not), but you shouldn't let it   
control you like it does. I don't know if this is true or not, but from what   
I've observed (and as much as I don't want to admit it, I've observed you   
quite a lot) you seem to go through another day just to spite something or   
someone (maybe someones?) and honestly, what kind of life is that?   
Why live, experience love, happiness, anger, sadness, joy, and even depression   
if not for yourself and only yourself.  
  
Don't ever sell yourself short! And now I'm speaking from personal experience.  
  
I know you know what a ditz I am (you remind me every day so you   
should know if you don't). Every day was a chance for me to change who I   
was, but everyone always knew me as the blonde tornado. I guess I've   
never grown up because I didn't think I could do it. Everyone told me I   
couldn't. But I could! And, believe it or not, I am. I sold myself short, never   
thinking I could do anything right. But now I've got friends who believe   
in me and give me their support no matter what I do. And that gives me the   
courage to change, to do better.  
  
I'd be willing to give you my support. Actually, I already do, I guess I   
just never told you. I believe in you. I also believe you deserve the best,   
not to spite your past, but because of who you are.  
  
I bet I know what you're thinking right now: "How do you know who I   
am? All we do is argue and that's not who I am."  
  
But, don't you see? I do know who you are!  
  
You are Chiba Mamoru, teaser and conceited jerk to one Tsukino   
Usagi. You are a student at Azabu in the pre-medical studies. You are   
a lonely male in the midst of a flock of females who would love to get   
to know you (although I'm not sure you know they are even there).   
You are the masked hero of the night, rescuer of Sailor Moon, and   
heartthrob of Tokyo, Tuxedo Kamen. You are the man with the midnight   
blue eyes that twinkle when you're happy, condense into slits when you're   
mad, and shine with amusement when in an argument with me. You are   
the only person I know that would rather study than have fun (besides   
Ami-chan, but even she can be bullied into going along with enjoyable activities).  
  
Are you still not convinced that I know you?  
  
Your favorite color is blue.  
  
You love chocolate.  
  
You have a thing for Disney movies.  
  
You grow roses.  
  
You sometimes take midnight walks in the park.  
  
Do you know how I know all this, Mamoru-san? I told you earlier.   
I've observed you. You're an interesting person. (You've held my   
interest since the day we met.)  
  
I don't know what this letter was supposed to say. I think it was   
supposed to just help me sort out my feelings for you. And I know now   
what they are.  
  
I hate to say this to you because I know your trust is hard to   
earn, but I lied to you earlier.  
  
I _do_ love you.  
  
  
  
  
That was it. The letter just ended there. Chiba Mamoru turned the   
paper over just to make sure there was no more to it. And there wasn't.   
There was no signature, but it was hard to mistake who it came from.   
One, she had handed it to him herself and two, she was the only person   
he teased on a daily basis.  
  
He picked up his cup of coffee and sipped it absentmindedly. So,   
she loved him? But no one loved him. Or so he thought. He stared into   
his black coffee after setting the cup once again onto the counter.  
  
He reached for the sugar and dumped a couple of packets in.  
  
Tsukino Usagi stared at the raven haired man from outside the arcade.   
Putting one hand to the glass that separated her from him, she found   
herself smiling a little. She wanted to go into the arcade and talk to him,   
kiss him, love him. But she was so scared!  
  
Usagi turned away from his form and started walking home. He knew   
how she felt. She had had the courage to tell him. She just had to gain the   
courage to confront him personally now! That could wait for another day,   
though. She had a suspicion he had to gather his thoughts as well.  
  
She could wait though. She had waited an eternity to find him, she just had a   
little longer to go.  
  
  
The End.  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: So, yea. This is a one-parter. But I'm thinking it screams   
"Sequel!" so maybe if I get some good reviews…So review! And tell   
me what I did good, what I did bad, and what I can do to improve. Please! 


End file.
